Is your life stale? Need an extra dose of humor? Try Camilla.
Camilla isn’t a happy drug, but she should be.
I’m not sure where to begin with this one. She’s made me laugh so many times. I guess I’ll take you to a typical day in AP English.
So I’m sitting there all square near the front. Stiff as a bone, trying to “absorb” all this knowledge. Then Camilla walks in, probably five minutes late.
“MR. BRASSIL,” she shouts exuberantly. “You…look…STUNNING!”
Then she compliments him on his tie for a good five minutes.
Once we’ve moved on past the tie convo, it’s time for the Hannaford update. (Hannaford is a local grocery store.)
Every student turns his or her head for this. Once Camilla gets going, it’s like taking the A Train. It never gets old.
“So guys,” she announces. “Guess who’s the best bagger at Hannaford? Guess who gets to go to regionals?”
“Regionals?” Mr. Brassil asks, a bit perplexed. Who could blame him?
“Yeah! I won the first round. I’m the best bagger in the whole store!”
I decided I needed to check this out myself.
So I go with my mom to the Hannaford to buy some milk, but really to see Camilla in action.
Camilla’s wearing her Best Bagger 2013 sweatshirt when we go to check out. She kind of shouts/kind of whispers, “Glad you’re not behind that lady!” Of course there was a little old lady with tons of groceries in her cart waiting behind us. And of course that’s when my mother decides to make additional conversation.
“Oh let me take a picture!” Mom hollers.
So there’s me. There’s Camilla the cashier. There’s some dude doing the bagging. And then there’s Queen Elizabeth behind us. Taking a picture? Really?
But it gets better.
“Oh, I have my Best Bagger Champion 2013 label underneath my sweatshirt!” Camilla declares. “Let me take my sweatshirt off.”
“Yeah,” Mom and the bagger say in unison. “Take it off!”
So as the little old lady groans, as I die of embarrassment, as the bagger gets excited, and as Mom takes the picture, Camilla strips down for a photo op.
And that’s just typical.