No Solids

Daily Prompt: Drawing a Blank


I’m having my wisdom teeth extracted, which means I will be unable to make snarky comebacks and witty comments during the procedure. I’m incredibly scared, so I thought it would be a good idea to parody the upcoming procedure  to the tune of the classic Jefferson Airplane song, “White Rabbit.” Or, as I like to call it, “No Solids.”

No Solids

One shot makes you larger,

And one shot makes you small.

And the ones that Surgeon gives you

Don’t do anything at all.

Go ask Patient

When her teeth all fall.

And if you go eating solids

And you know your mouth will swell

Tell ’em a hookah-smoking surgeon

Has let the IV fall.

Call me maybe

When I was just small.

When the panini on the sidewalk

Gets up and directs pedestrians

And you’ve just had a dose of Novocain

And your mind is falling low

Go ask Surgeon.

I think he’ll know!

When Bert minus Ernie,

Has risen from the bed,

And Colonel Sanders is speaking Yiddish,

And the tofu’s off with its head,

Remember, what the surgeon said:

Don’t eat bread!

Don’t eat bread!

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3 thoughts on “No Solids

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Drawing a Blank | flow of my soul

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